This is the first installment in the “Quick Tip of the Week” series. I’ll be making one post each week with a quick tip to help you escape your post grad slump.

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You just got the girl’s number. Score. Hell yes. But you’ve only talked to her for ten minutes and you don’t really know much about her. You just know she’s hot and you want to see her again.

You want to text her, but you don’t want to get into that boring, formal, interview mode conversation. You want to be different and keep the interaction fun. The question is, how?!?

This is a fun game I’ll use through texting/phone/ and even in person. It avoids the boring fluff talk and creates a very fun and flirty vibe. I’ve done this a number of times and I can honestly say it’s golden. I call it the “Out of 10” text game. Here’s an example of how it works:

You: Let’s play a fun game. It’s called “Out of ten.”

Her: (usually) Okay

[If she says no, just tease her and say “Wow. I thought you were fun, guess I was wrong.” She’ll usually play along after that.]

You:  The rules are easy. I’ll say a topic, and you reply with how good you think you are out of 10, and then you pick a topic for me. Keep it G rated please.

Her: Okay let’s do it!

You: Cooking

Her: 8. I make the best lasagna/cookies/etc. Lying

You: [It’s good to be sarcastic and have fun with it] I’m a master chef with my George Foreman grill, but it’s good to know you can support me if it ever breaks down. And I’m a 1. I’m a really unbelievable compulsive liar, so it just makes things really awkward. Dancing.

Her: Hahaha I had that feeling about you! Jk jk. I’m a really good dancer, I’ve never had any complaints :p I’d say I’m a 9.

You: Wow I usually only hang with girls who are 10 out of 10 at dancing, but I guess I can make an exception. Hopefully you can keep up. Kissing.

Her: Hey! We’ll see if you can keep up with me! And I knew you were going to ask that :p I’m a 10.

The key is to keep it fun and flirty. Don’t take it too seriously. I like to be a little ridiculous because it adds to the fun vibe. Sometimes I’ll start off with a more neutral topic like cooking and make the topics progressively more sexual. Sometimes I’ll just jump in and start with something sexual . It can work either way.

You can also use this to build comfort. The main purpose is to learn about each other in a fun way while creating a sexual vibe. This game will help you stand out among all the other guys who ask the boring “What do you do/what are your hobbies” questions.

These are some topics to get you started:

Kissing
Cooking
Driving
Lying
Dancing
Mini Golfing
Massaging
Swimming
Sex
Spontaneous
Adventurous

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Before I Die…

Posted: September 5, 2012 in Lifestyle
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This letter is an excerpt from the Wall Street Journal- Followed by my input at the end:

The following essay was written by Edmund N. Carpenter, age 17, in June 1938 while he was a student in Lawrenceville, N.J. Carpenter would go on to win the Bronze Star for his service in World War II and to a civilian career as an attorney. A graduate of Harvard Law School, he became president of Richards, Layton & Finger, a law firm. He died on Dec. 19, 2008 at age 87 and is survived by six children and 15 grandchildren:

It may seem very strange to the reader that one of my tender age should already be thinking about that inevitable end to which even the paths of glory lead. However, this essay is not really concerned with death, but rather with life, my future life. I have set down here the things which I, at this age, believe essential to happiness and complete enjoyment of life. Some of them will doubtless seem very odd to the reader; others will perhaps be completely in accord with his own wishes. At any rate, they compose a synopsis of the things which I sincerely desire to have done before I leave this world and pass on to the life hereafter or to oblivion.

Before I die I want to know that I have done something truly great, that I have accomplished some glorious achievement the credit for which belongs solely to me. I do not aspire to become as famous as a Napoleon and conquer many nations; but I do want, almost above all else, to feel that I have been an addition to this world of ours. I should like the world, or at least my native land, to be proud of me and to sit up and take notice when my name is pronounced and say, “There is a man who has done a great thing.” I do not want to have passed through life as just another speck of humanity, just another cog in a tremendous machine. I want to be something greater, far greater than that. My desire is not so much for immortality as for distinction while I am alive. When I leave this world, I want to know that my life has not been in vain, but that I have, in the course of my existence, done something of which I am rightfully very proud.

Before I die I want to know that during my life I have brought great happiness to others. Friendship, we all agree, is one of the best things in the world, and I want to have many friends. But I could never die fully contented unless I knew that those with whom I had been intimate had gained real happiness from their friendship with me. Moreover, I feel there is a really sincere pleasure to be found in pleasing others, a kind of pleasure that can not be gained from anything else. We all want much happiness in our lives, and giving it to others is one of the surest ways to achieve it for ourselves.

Before I die I want to have visited a large portion of the globe and to have actually lived with several foreign races in their own environment. By traveling in countries other than my own I hope to broaden and improve my outlook on life so that I can get a deeper, and more complete satisfaction from living. By mixing the weighty philosophy of China with the hard practicalism of America, I hope to make my life fuller. By blending the rigid discipline of Germany with the great liberty in our own nation I hope to more completely enjoy my years on this earth. These are but two examples of the many things which I expect to achieve by traveling and thus have a greater appreciation of life.

Before I die there is another great desire I must fulfill, and that is to have felt a truly great love. At my young age I know that love, other than some filial affection, is probably far beyond my ken. Yet, young as I may be, I believe I have had enough inkling of the subject to know that he who has not loved has not really lived. Nor will I feel my life is complete until I have actually experienced that burning flame and know that I am at last in love, truly in love. I want to feel that my whole heart and soul are set on one girl whom I wish to be a perfect angel in my eyes. I want to feel a love that will far surpass any other emotion that I have ever felt. I know that when I am at last really in love then I will start living a different, better life, filled with new pleasures that I never knew existed.

Before I die I want to feel a great sorrow. This, perhaps, of all my wishes will seem the strangest to the reader. Yet, is it unusual that I should wish to have had a complete life? I want to have lived fully, and certainly sorrow is a part of life. It is my belief that, as in the case of love, no man has lived until he has felt sorrow. It molds us and teaches us that there is a far deeper significance to life than might be supposed if one passed through this world forever happy and carefree. Moreover, once the pangs of sorrow have slackened, for I do not believe it to be a permanent emotion, its dregs often leave us a better knowledge of this world of ours and a better understanding of humanity. Yes, strange as it may seem, I really want to feel a great sorrow.

With this last wish I complete the synopsis of the things I want to do before I die. Irrational as they may seem to the reader, nevertheless they comprise a sincere summary of what I truthfully now believe to be the things most essential to a fully satisfactory and happy life. As I stand here on the threshold of my future, these are the things which to me seem the most valuable. Perhaps in fifty years I will think that they are extremely silly. Perhaps I will wonder, for instance, why I did not include a wish for continued happiness. Yet, right now, I do not desire my life to be a bed of roses. I want it to be something much more than that. I want it to be a truly great adventure, never dull, always exciting and engrossing; not sickly sweet, yet not unhappy. And I believe it will be all I wish if I do these things before I die.

As for death itself, I do not believe that it will be such a disagreeable thing providing my life has been successful. I have always considered life and death as two cups of wine. Of the first cup, containing the wine of life, we can learn a little from literature and from those who have drunk it, but only a little. In order to get the full flavor we must drink deeply of it for ourselves. I believe that after I have quaffed the cup containing the wine of life, emptied it to its last dregs, then I will not fear to turn to that other cup, the one whose contents can be designated only by X, an unknown, and a thing about which we can gain no knowledge at all until we drink for ourselves. Will it be sweet, or sour, or tasteless? Who can tell? Surely none of us like to think of death as the end of everything. Yet is it? That is a question that for all of us will one day be answered when we, having witnessed the drama of life, come to the final curtain. Probably we will all regret to leave this world, yet I believe that after I have drained the first cup, and have possibly grown a bit weary of its flavor, I will then turn not unwillingly to the second cup and to the new and thrilling experience of exploring the unknown.

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What will you do before you die? Have you thought about it? Life is a game. It’s a chance to fail as many times as you possibly can, and still have massive success if you keep plugging. It’s also a chance to stay stagnate, take the safe route, and never know what COULD have been. Maybe you’d find happiness either way. But the fact is, we only get one shot at this thing. That’s it. See that hot girl across the bar? Decide not to approach her now and you’ll likely never see her again, forever. Maybe she was too old, or too young, but the fact is, if you think she is attractive, any reason to not approach her is an excuse. You know that business you wanted to start? That album you wanted to make? Maybe you tell yourself you just don’t have that entrepreneurial gene, or you’re just not talented enough (Limiting belief I’m currently working through). And maybe excuses make you feel better in the moment. Rationalizations always help. But in the end, when you look back at your life, excuses will mean absolutely nothing.

We may be able to lie to ourselves now, and it might even feel good, but it will eventually catch up with us and eat away at our very essence. Life is an adventure. There are millions of possibilities, far beyond the scope of any of our wildest dreams. Experience them. Instead of asking “What if?” after the fact, have a crazy story to tell because you took action. Start crafting your story instead of letting others write it for you.

Taking the Leap

Posted: August 28, 2012 in Lifestyle
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“You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”

Steve Jobs

This post is a little deeper, but it will help you understand my current mindset. 

Here I am, finally a college graduate. I have every reason to be optimistic about the future. After all, accounting is one of the best degrees out there- at least that’s what they tell me. I should also mention that I’ve been accepted into a one year graduate program that will practically pave the way for me to obtain my CPA license. Once I have that, the $100k+ per year salary won’t be far behind. It will be hard work, really hard work, but if I’ve come this far, nothing else will stop me. All I have to do is accept the graduate offer and my journey will begin. But there’s just one problem: I can’t.

There’s really no concrete reason why I can’t accept the grad school offer. I have no real obligations that will prevent me from attending school over the next year. I am living less than 15 minutes away from my potential school- with three friends who will all be attending. In fact, I was so sure that I would attend graduate school that I signed a full-year lease for the house earlier this spring. It will almost be more convenient if I accept the offer and just go to school. Not only that, but it will cost me less than $10,000 to attend. There appears to be absolutely nothing to lose here and almost no risk. This begs the question- What the HELL is my problem?

It’s not that I’m lazy- far from it. I haven’t watched television in months and I spend a majority of my time reading. It’s not even necessarily that I hate accounting, although that does play a part in it. It’s hard to explain- and trust me, I’ve tried. But if I had to nail it down to something- if I really had to narrow it down to one thing, it would be this: it just doesn’t feel right. Simple as that. I’ve always felt like I’ve had this overarching purpose ever since I was a kid, but it was clamped down underneath the weight of constant busyness. I think we all have some kind of overarching purpose, but it is so easily forgotten through life’s tribulations that its disappearance goes unnoticed.

Once I graduated, I finally caught a breath of fresh air and something startling dawned on me: somewhere along the line I had let my real dreams slip away in favor of a more “realistic” life. I don’t remember the exact moment when my dreams faded into oblivion; I think it was more of a gradual process. Years of social conditioning had grinded out my creativity. A belief started to creep its way in ever so slightly- this belief that I was too normal, I could never achieve anything great. But that was okay, I thought, I could still make a good living as an accountant. I could still buy the big house and the nice car and support my family. After 30 or 40 years I could retire to a nice summer house in Florida and live out the rest of my time happily ever after.

But that life doesn’t appeal to me anymore, not even in the least bit. In fact, it disgusts me. I can’t tell you exactly what’s come over me. Maybe I’m absolutely crazy, I certainly wouldn’t fault you for thinking so. But the money doesn’t matter to me anymore. In fact, all the money in the world is completely worthless to me unless I am living the life I truly want to live. Obviously there is a place for financial security, but financial security is not the goal. Financial security is a side effect of purposeful living. I feel like I’ve woken up. I still don’t know where the hell I’m going, but at least I’m not sleep walking anymore.

My Realization

I only have one shot at this thing. One chance. I can give every ounce of myself to my passion; absolutely every part of my being to fulfill my purpose. This is the dangerous choice. There is no telling where it will lead and certainly no guarantee that it will be successful. But I believe that a person can only reach true happiness when they find their purpose and spend their lives fulfilling it. This is the kind of happiness that money can’t buy.

OR

I can continue my career path as an accountant. Of course I don’t know exactly what’s in store but I think I can forecast the basic trend. It doesn’t excite me and I know it won’t lead to true happiness no matter how much money I make.

I choose the first option. I can’t fathom the regret that will overtake me if I don’t AT LEAST try. I will never forgive myself. It’s going to be scary. I don’t even have any sort of business idea yet besides this blog along with a few concert investments. People are going to think I’m batshit crazy-my parents already do. Very few are going to truly understand, and even fewer will be willing to take the leap with me. But I can’t say that I really care all that much. I’ve spent my whole life being average and I’m not really cool with that anymore. I may not have the million dollar business plan yet, but I have unwavering faith that I will succeed no matter how many failures I have to overcome. And I can rest easy, or maybe not so easy, with that fact that I will petrify myself with the idea of a mediocre existence. I will never be content with it. You shouldn’t be either. Take the leap- you might just go further than you think.

“The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized – never knowing.”

 

Jim Rohn

There’s a certain art to being genuine. It’s rarely seen in society today- everybody seems to have a million layers of bull shit surrounding their core identity; and often times people spend their WHOLE lives never knowing who they TRULY are. There’s a tendency to put up a fake persona to impress THIS person, or shun THAT person, and a surplus of fake smiles that get frigidly forced throughout each day. Stop lying to yourself. It’s easy to get caught in the mix- I was in it for the first 21 years of my life. I wore baggy jeans and shirts that were 10 sizes too big until I was in college so I could fit in. Pretty devastating when I think back on it, but I was a ghetto superstar back then so realistically I had no other choice ;).

It’s not easy to be completely genuine though, and you will throw people off guard. Here’s an example: For the past 6 years I’ve had my heart set on accounting (my college major) but over the last few months this completely changed. I sat back and really thought hard as I was going through my last college semester.

“Is this what I REALLY want to do with the rest of my life?”

“Is it worth the money?

“Is this my purpose?”

The short answer to each of these questions was a resounding “NO”. This was a much more in-depth decision which I will cover more in future posts, but you get the idea. It was almost as if I had a mid-life crisis at the age of 21- but I’d rather have it then than at the age of 40. I realized that being genuine with myself and living through my own intentions was more important than ANYTHING ELSE, and this was one of the most powerful realizations I’ve ever had.

Continuing the accounting path would be very in-congruent with my values and I fully believe this would stunt my growth as a person. The only real reason I would continue is to make other people happy (i.e. parents, friends, relatives) while I gritted my teeth through tax season after tax season. I have accepted the fact that some people will think I’m crazy for doing this. I’ve also accepted that this route is much less traveled, and scary as hell, but I’m ready for it, and all the possible failures that may come along with it. Life is an adventure.

So what am I getting at and how will ANY of this help you get the girl?

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It is RARE to be genuine and live through your own intentions.  Sit back and really think for a second: Can you remember a time when you talked to a girl you were interested in (Let’s hope so)? Then I’m sure you can remember a time when you let the conversation trail off without ever expressing your true intentions. I’ve done this HUNDREDS of times and it SUCKS. Somewhere along the conversation (and usually before) you realize you are VERY attracted to her. You WANT this girl. You work up the balls to approach her (after a few drinks of course) and finally do it, struggling to maintain your composure while your knees are buckling more than seat belts at a police check point. You FINALLY get within earshot and tap her on the shoulder. But instead of commanding her attention with a smooth Rico Suave line, you fold under pressure and utter  “So, come here often?” under your breath (To be clear, the line you use doesn’t necessarily matter, you can say ANYTHING, but the WAY you say it is the important thing). She can barely hear you and says “What?” as she shrugs you off. So much for that, Rico Suave.

STOP doing this. Most social interactions are clouded with bull shit. Cut through it and get straight to the point. Stop beating around the bush. There is often this awkward undertone when you approach a random girl because in the back of her mind, she thinks “This guy’s cool, but why the hell is he talking to me?” She knows you probably want her, which is why it is WEIRD as hell to avoid it and talk about stupid trivial topics that neither of you care about. If you think she’s attractive, tell her. If you like that she’s adventurous, let her know. Be REAL with her, because very few other guys ever will be. She’ll appreciate it. It’s OKAY if she knows you’re hitting on her, you don’t need to pull some secret agent tactic here.This is a HUGE topic that will be expanded on, but I just wanted to lay the groundwork here. This idea has helped me date multiple high quality girls and it can do the same for you. Honesty is a powerful thing. Embrace it and be REAL.

You just graduated. Or maybe it’s summer time and you’re a little bored. You think “Wow, being out of college blows! I just want to go back!” And rightfully so, college is one of the best times of your life. All the booze, parties, and girls you can ever want, and it all seems SO DAMN easy. Hooking up is the norm and every night seems to be more memorable than the last.

The bar scene is fun, but it just doesn’t cut it. You go out with your friends, hang with them all night, and maybe approach one or two girls. MAYBE you’ll get lucky, but very inconsistently. The logistics just aren’t there like they were in college, it’s too hard. Most of your lucky nights in college consisted of you drunkenly asking a girl if she wanted to grab a beer from your room at 1am. Can’t exactly do that in the real world (well sometimes, but that’s another story). You tell yourself you need to settle down and just get a girlfriend. The bar scene is getting old and you just can’t seem to get a handle on it. “Oh well,” you think, “This is all part of growing up. Partying gets old.”
But what if success with women doesn’t end after you walk across that college stage and grab your diploma? What if I told you it was just the beginning? Well I’m here to tell you exactly that. The purpose of this blog is to expand your reality and show you that post-college life doesn’t have to be the exacerbating bore that everyone makes it out to be. It’s time for YOU to take control. Those four years (or maybe 5, Van Wilder) were great. But they were just the tip of the iceberg. The fact is you CAN date the hottest girls and master the bar scene, you CAN earn a living doing something you love, and you DON’T have to settle for anything less. You’ve waited this long, the time is NOW to make life YOUR bitch. If you want to spend the rest of your life reminiscing about those four crazy college years, this blog isn’t for you. But if you: never again want to lament about how shitty life is after college; want to consistently have nights that blow your college experience out of the water; want to date multiple HIGH quality girls; then you’ve found the right place. The adventure starts here. The time is NOW.