Archive for August, 2012

Taking the Leap

Posted: August 28, 2012 in Lifestyle
Tags: , , , ,

“You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”

Steve Jobs

This post is a little deeper, but it will help you understand my current mindset. 

Here I am, finally a college graduate. I have every reason to be optimistic about the future. After all, accounting is one of the best degrees out there- at least that’s what they tell me. I should also mention that I’ve been accepted into a one year graduate program that will practically pave the way for me to obtain my CPA license. Once I have that, the $100k+ per year salary won’t be far behind. It will be hard work, really hard work, but if I’ve come this far, nothing else will stop me. All I have to do is accept the graduate offer and my journey will begin. But there’s just one problem: I can’t.

There’s really no concrete reason why I can’t accept the grad school offer. I have no real obligations that will prevent me from attending school over the next year. I am living less than 15 minutes away from my potential school- with three friends who will all be attending. In fact, I was so sure that I would attend graduate school that I signed a full-year lease for the house earlier this spring. It will almost be more convenient if I accept the offer and just go to school. Not only that, but it will cost me less than $10,000 to attend. There appears to be absolutely nothing to lose here and almost no risk. This begs the question- What the HELL is my problem?

It’s not that I’m lazy- far from it. I haven’t watched television in months and I spend a majority of my time reading. It’s not even necessarily that I hate accounting, although that does play a part in it. It’s hard to explain- and trust me, I’ve tried. But if I had to nail it down to something- if I really had to narrow it down to one thing, it would be this: it just doesn’t feel right. Simple as that. I’ve always felt like I’ve had this overarching purpose ever since I was a kid, but it was clamped down underneath the weight of constant busyness. I think we all have some kind of overarching purpose, but it is so easily forgotten through life’s tribulations that its disappearance goes unnoticed.

Once I graduated, I finally caught a breath of fresh air and something startling dawned on me: somewhere along the line I had let my real dreams slip away in favor of a more “realistic” life. I don’t remember the exact moment when my dreams faded into oblivion; I think it was more of a gradual process. Years of social conditioning had grinded out my creativity. A belief started to creep its way in ever so slightly- this belief that I was too normal, I could never achieve anything great. But that was okay, I thought, I could still make a good living as an accountant. I could still buy the big house and the nice car and support my family. After 30 or 40 years I could retire to a nice summer house in Florida and live out the rest of my time happily ever after.

But that life doesn’t appeal to me anymore, not even in the least bit. In fact, it disgusts me. I can’t tell you exactly what’s come over me. Maybe I’m absolutely crazy, I certainly wouldn’t fault you for thinking so. But the money doesn’t matter to me anymore. In fact, all the money in the world is completely worthless to me unless I am living the life I truly want to live. Obviously there is a place for financial security, but financial security is not the goal. Financial security is a side effect of purposeful living. I feel like I’ve woken up. I still don’t know where the hell I’m going, but at least I’m not sleep walking anymore.

My Realization

I only have one shot at this thing. One chance. I can give every ounce of myself to my passion; absolutely every part of my being to fulfill my purpose. This is the dangerous choice. There is no telling where it will lead and certainly no guarantee that it will be successful. But I believe that a person can only reach true happiness when they find their purpose and spend their lives fulfilling it. This is the kind of happiness that money can’t buy.

OR

I can continue my career path as an accountant. Of course I don’t know exactly what’s in store but I think I can forecast the basic trend. It doesn’t excite me and I know it won’t lead to true happiness no matter how much money I make.

I choose the first option. I can’t fathom the regret that will overtake me if I don’t AT LEAST try. I will never forgive myself. It’s going to be scary. I don’t even have any sort of business idea yet besides this blog along with a few concert investments. People are going to think I’m batshit crazy-my parents already do. Very few are going to truly understand, and even fewer will be willing to take the leap with me. But I can’t say that I really care all that much. I’ve spent my whole life being average and I’m not really cool with that anymore. I may not have the million dollar business plan yet, but I have unwavering faith that I will succeed no matter how many failures I have to overcome. And I can rest easy, or maybe not so easy, with that fact that I will petrify myself with the idea of a mediocre existence. I will never be content with it. You shouldn’t be either. Take the leap- you might just go further than you think.

“The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized – never knowing.”

 

Jim Rohn

There’s a certain art to being genuine. It’s rarely seen in society today- everybody seems to have a million layers of bull shit surrounding their core identity; and often times people spend their WHOLE lives never knowing who they TRULY are. There’s a tendency to put up a fake persona to impress THIS person, or shun THAT person, and a surplus of fake smiles that get frigidly forced throughout each day. Stop lying to yourself. It’s easy to get caught in the mix- I was in it for the first 21 years of my life. I wore baggy jeans and shirts that were 10 sizes too big until I was in college so I could fit in. Pretty devastating when I think back on it, but I was a ghetto superstar back then so realistically I had no other choice ;).

It’s not easy to be completely genuine though, and you will throw people off guard. Here’s an example: For the past 6 years I’ve had my heart set on accounting (my college major) but over the last few months this completely changed. I sat back and really thought hard as I was going through my last college semester.

“Is this what I REALLY want to do with the rest of my life?”

“Is it worth the money?

“Is this my purpose?”

The short answer to each of these questions was a resounding “NO”. This was a much more in-depth decision which I will cover more in future posts, but you get the idea. It was almost as if I had a mid-life crisis at the age of 21- but I’d rather have it then than at the age of 40. I realized that being genuine with myself and living through my own intentions was more important than ANYTHING ELSE, and this was one of the most powerful realizations I’ve ever had.

Continuing the accounting path would be very in-congruent with my values and I fully believe this would stunt my growth as a person. The only real reason I would continue is to make other people happy (i.e. parents, friends, relatives) while I gritted my teeth through tax season after tax season. I have accepted the fact that some people will think I’m crazy for doing this. I’ve also accepted that this route is much less traveled, and scary as hell, but I’m ready for it, and all the possible failures that may come along with it. Life is an adventure.

So what am I getting at and how will ANY of this help you get the girl?

Image

It is RARE to be genuine and live through your own intentions.  Sit back and really think for a second: Can you remember a time when you talked to a girl you were interested in (Let’s hope so)? Then I’m sure you can remember a time when you let the conversation trail off without ever expressing your true intentions. I’ve done this HUNDREDS of times and it SUCKS. Somewhere along the conversation (and usually before) you realize you are VERY attracted to her. You WANT this girl. You work up the balls to approach her (after a few drinks of course) and finally do it, struggling to maintain your composure while your knees are buckling more than seat belts at a police check point. You FINALLY get within earshot and tap her on the shoulder. But instead of commanding her attention with a smooth Rico Suave line, you fold under pressure and utter  “So, come here often?” under your breath (To be clear, the line you use doesn’t necessarily matter, you can say ANYTHING, but the WAY you say it is the important thing). She can barely hear you and says “What?” as she shrugs you off. So much for that, Rico Suave.

STOP doing this. Most social interactions are clouded with bull shit. Cut through it and get straight to the point. Stop beating around the bush. There is often this awkward undertone when you approach a random girl because in the back of her mind, she thinks “This guy’s cool, but why the hell is he talking to me?” She knows you probably want her, which is why it is WEIRD as hell to avoid it and talk about stupid trivial topics that neither of you care about. If you think she’s attractive, tell her. If you like that she’s adventurous, let her know. Be REAL with her, because very few other guys ever will be. She’ll appreciate it. It’s OKAY if she knows you’re hitting on her, you don’t need to pull some secret agent tactic here.This is a HUGE topic that will be expanded on, but I just wanted to lay the groundwork here. This idea has helped me date multiple high quality girls and it can do the same for you. Honesty is a powerful thing. Embrace it and be REAL.

You just graduated. Or maybe it’s summer time and you’re a little bored. You think “Wow, being out of college blows! I just want to go back!” And rightfully so, college is one of the best times of your life. All the booze, parties, and girls you can ever want, and it all seems SO DAMN easy. Hooking up is the norm and every night seems to be more memorable than the last.

The bar scene is fun, but it just doesn’t cut it. You go out with your friends, hang with them all night, and maybe approach one or two girls. MAYBE you’ll get lucky, but very inconsistently. The logistics just aren’t there like they were in college, it’s too hard. Most of your lucky nights in college consisted of you drunkenly asking a girl if she wanted to grab a beer from your room at 1am. Can’t exactly do that in the real world (well sometimes, but that’s another story). You tell yourself you need to settle down and just get a girlfriend. The bar scene is getting old and you just can’t seem to get a handle on it. “Oh well,” you think, “This is all part of growing up. Partying gets old.”
But what if success with women doesn’t end after you walk across that college stage and grab your diploma? What if I told you it was just the beginning? Well I’m here to tell you exactly that. The purpose of this blog is to expand your reality and show you that post-college life doesn’t have to be the exacerbating bore that everyone makes it out to be. It’s time for YOU to take control. Those four years (or maybe 5, Van Wilder) were great. But they were just the tip of the iceberg. The fact is you CAN date the hottest girls and master the bar scene, you CAN earn a living doing something you love, and you DON’T have to settle for anything less. You’ve waited this long, the time is NOW to make life YOUR bitch. If you want to spend the rest of your life reminiscing about those four crazy college years, this blog isn’t for you. But if you: never again want to lament about how shitty life is after college; want to consistently have nights that blow your college experience out of the water; want to date multiple HIGH quality girls; then you’ve found the right place. The adventure starts here. The time is NOW.