Posts Tagged ‘Bar’

There’s a certain art to being genuine. It’s rarely seen in society today- everybody seems to have a million layers of bull shit surrounding their core identity; and often times people spend their WHOLE lives never knowing who they TRULY are. There’s a tendency to put up a fake persona to impress THIS person, or shun THAT person, and a surplus of fake smiles that get frigidly forced throughout each day. Stop lying to yourself. It’s easy to get caught in the mix- I was in it for the first 21 years of my life. I wore baggy jeans and shirts that were 10 sizes too big until I was in college so I could fit in. Pretty devastating when I think back on it, but I was a ghetto superstar back then so realistically I had no other choice ;).

It’s not easy to be completely genuine though, and you will throw people off guard. Here’s an example: For the past 6 years I’ve had my heart set on accounting (my college major) but over the last few months this completely changed. I sat back and really thought hard as I was going through my last college semester.

“Is this what I REALLY want to do with the rest of my life?”

“Is it worth the money?

“Is this my purpose?”

The short answer to each of these questions was a resounding “NO”. This was a much more in-depth decision which I will cover more in future posts, but you get the idea. It was almost as if I had a mid-life crisis at the age of 21- but I’d rather have it then than at the age of 40. I realized that being genuine with myself and living through my own intentions was more important than ANYTHING ELSE, and this was one of the most powerful realizations I’ve ever had.

Continuing the accounting path would be very in-congruent with my values and I fully believe this would stunt my growth as a person. The only real reason I would continue is to make other people happy (i.e. parents, friends, relatives) while I gritted my teeth through tax season after tax season. I have accepted the fact that some people will think I’m crazy for doing this. I’ve also accepted that this route is much less traveled, and scary as hell, but I’m ready for it, and all the possible failures that may come along with it. Life is an adventure.

So what am I getting at and how will ANY of this help you get the girl?


It is RARE to be genuine and live through your own intentions.  Sit back and really think for a second: Can you remember a time when you talked to a girl you were interested in (Let’s hope so)? Then I’m sure you can remember a time when you let the conversation trail off without ever expressing your true intentions. I’ve done this HUNDREDS of times and it SUCKS. Somewhere along the conversation (and usually before) you realize you are VERY attracted to her. You WANT this girl. You work up the balls to approach her (after a few drinks of course) and finally do it, struggling to maintain your composure while your knees are buckling more than seat belts at a police check point. You FINALLY get within earshot and tap her on the shoulder. But instead of commanding her attention with a smooth Rico Suave line, you fold under pressure and utter  “So, come here often?” under your breath (To be clear, the line you use doesn’t necessarily matter, you can say ANYTHING, but the WAY you say it is the important thing). She can barely hear you and says “What?” as she shrugs you off. So much for that, Rico Suave.

STOP doing this. Most social interactions are clouded with bull shit. Cut through it and get straight to the point. Stop beating around the bush. There is often this awkward undertone when you approach a random girl because in the back of her mind, she thinks “This guy’s cool, but why the hell is he talking to me?” She knows you probably want her, which is why it is WEIRD as hell to avoid it and talk about stupid trivial topics that neither of you care about. If you think she’s attractive, tell her. If you like that she’s adventurous, let her know. Be REAL with her, because very few other guys ever will be. She’ll appreciate it. It’s OKAY if she knows you’re hitting on her, you don’t need to pull some secret agent tactic here.This is a HUGE topic that will be expanded on, but I just wanted to lay the groundwork here. This idea has helped me date multiple high quality girls and it can do the same for you. Honesty is a powerful thing. Embrace it and be REAL.